Hi, my name is Vicki.

I am on a journey of learning to be a good girl.

November 18, 2008

More changes ... for the better ...

Well ... things are looking up !

I believe I may have found another man to give me the push and direction I need.
We're going to call him 'Master', as per his request.

Master has already provided me with some guidance on improving this little sissy slut :)
1. Butt plug from lunch to end of work, and from 7 to 10 pm
-- I've gotten out of this habit a while ago, but eager to get back to this wonderful daily feeling :)
2. Clear lip gloss to be worn at home at all times
-- just love to run my tongue along my glossy lips
3. Panties all the time, never be out of panties unless in the shower - on 24/7/365
-- I love my panties, you know, so that won't be that difficult
4. Wear red lipstick at least 10 minutes a day - even if I have to stand in the bathroom to do it.
RED IS A MUST FOR SISSY SLUTS and he wants me to start to "crave" red lips.
-- mmmmmm :) see rule 2 ...

I feel very lucky to have been given this chance to improve myself again :)
Thank you, Master !


November 13, 2008

Ch Ch Changes ....

Guess that wasn't very nice of me, my previous post was a little short on info ....

Anyway, I have not seen or heard from 'daddy' for a few months now, and frankly I just can't wait any longer - life is short and girls (especially this one) just wanna have fun.

I've had quite a few discussions with other eligible gentlemen, but somehow most of them just don't seem to pan out. My guess is that I'm not the only one with that problem - fantasies are one thing but when push comes to shove (don't know why .. but that phrase somehow got me thinking about something else entirely) the vast majority of men seem to not be able to really follow through or just disappear completely. How rude is that ? I may be a submissive little slut, but I have feelings too, you know ....

Anyway, back to square one for now - any good strong men out there looking for a good little girl to take care of their needs ?


November 11, 2008

Early November already ....

Well, first of all, my apologies to my readers for the lack of updates over the last few months. Things are changing for Vicki.


September 15, 2008

My favorite fantasy ...

Sitting at home last Sunday - all dressed up and feeling o so sexy and submissive - flipping through the channels on TV, saw there was a footbal game on.

Being the girl that I really deep down am, sports like that just seem incredibly boring, but it did remind me of my very favorite fantasy ....


It's a Sunday afternoon, Daddy has been out working in the yard all morning while he has had me spend my time getting ready for this afternoon.
I've showered, shaved (feels soooo good to be all nice and clean and smooth all over), put my makeup on - made sure it's all perfect - and dressed according to Daddy's wishes. His favorites, my black bra and panty set, garterbelt and stockings, short grey skirt and a really soft wool sweater - sort of the 'girl-next-door' look. Most of my hair in a ponytail, keeps it out of the way. Pink lipstick to match my recently manicured finger nails.

Today is football game day.
While Daddy takes his shower, I'm in the kitchen - like a good girl - preparing some snacks and then setting up his "Daddy chair" in the living room. His comfy chair, angled so he can see the TV unobstructed, with some pillows for him to get real comfortable, a small table next to it, and a big pillow in front of it on the floor for me :)

I just love football game day.
Daddy does too. After he's all settled in his chair, and I've gotten his beer and snacks, he turns on the TV and nods for me to settle in at his feet.
Licking my lips, I unbuckle his belt, unzip his pants, quivering with anticipation of tasting what's inside, gazing up into his eyes as I wrap my lips around Daddy's cock, teasing it with my tongue and fondling his manly balls ..
He's taken a lot of time to show me what he likes, so I know how Daddy likes his dick sucked and I do just that ... lots of lips and tongue ... a little hand jerking off as I keep him wet, hard and thick ... grip his hard shaft and squeeze ... knowing that eventually a clear drop will slide from the top ... I extend my tongue and lick his velvety head ... lick and taste in anticipation of having a little snack of my own ... getting him to lose control and fill my mouth.
I love the fact that I can take hours to really make Daddy happy - I forget about the game playing on TV behind me, except when his team scores and his dick inadvertently gets rammed down my throat - when he wants me to take a short break, I love laying my head on his leg, gently sucking on his manly balls, squeezing and fondling his dick with my hands.

By now it's half-time and when he needs a bathroom break, I know exactly what to do. First make sure he's not run out of snacks, or needs another beer, then fix my makeup. Daddy always wants it to look perfect, and my lipstick usually needs replenishing often. Finally I get a clean, wet and warm washcloth and wash Daddy's privates while he sits back down in his chair. He quickly inspects my makeup, then has me take off my sweater and skirt, leaving me dressed in just his favorite lingerie, he nods approvingly and tells me to get two more beers, but just leave them on the coffee table for now.
He nods for me to get back to my pillow, and I eagerly sit back down - a little more selfconcious, without my clothes - but just so happy to please him.

As I get back to the task at hand, Daddy reaches into the drawer of his little table and pulls out my collar that he keeps there. He gently puts it around my neck and attaches the short chain leash to the hook under his chair and locks it in place. It always feels amazing, even though I would stay at his feet without it, being locked in place really makes me feel even more like his little plaything - there to keep him happy.
Next, he pulls out a blindfold, and gently buckles that around my head, tells me what a good girl I am and how proud he is of me. I feel his hand on the back of my head as he pushes me back down onto his manhood. he takes in a bit of the chain leading to my collar and locks it back in place, effectively ensuring that my mouth can not leave his dick - I'm in heaven...

As the game is about to get started again, I can barely hear the knock at the door. I feel daddy shift a little in his chair, getting more comfortable, and hear a quick shout - "door's open".

I just LOVE football days .......


September update ...

I realized (and was reminded by a recent comment) that I have been neglecting to post here for a while.

Sadly, Daddy has taken a leave of absence and I have not heard from him in a while. This makes me very sad and when that happens, I tend to withdraw into my own little world.

My need to satisfy, however, has not suddenly disappeared. In fact, since Daddy left, I seem to have become a bit of a slut, a lot less discriminatory than I used to be. Lots of fun on the one hand, but a bit scary too - you wouldn't believe (or maybe you would ;) how many wierdos are a really out there.

Fortunately I love to spend time on my knees, because almost without fail that's really what virtually every man craves more than anything else. Probably also why a lot of men are attracted to crossdressers, t-girls and sissy faggots (like myself) - we're so desperate to feel like a girl, act like a girl that we tend to be a lot 'easier' than real girls.

I'm sorry about the generalization, I'm sure that's not true of all of us. But from what I've seen, and the 'girls' that I've met, there's a definitely some truth to that statement. But hey, that's just my opinion ...


August 12, 2008

Some thoughts ...

Somebody left a comment the other day that made me think a bit ... not too much though, being the ditzy blond that I am ;)

Are you sure this is what you want? I think the FANTASY is hot too, but fantasies by definition are PERFECT. Do you really want to live your whole life in a fantasy? I'm just wondering. I'm not sitting in judgement. I'm writing as one who shares your fantasy, but refuses to let my entire existence become utterly debauched and degraded . . . all for the sake of some pleasure between my legs. Oh, I've had my moments of debauchery, and may have more. But make a life out of it? Nahh. - Heather.

First let me say that before I embarked on this journey, I thought about exactly the same things that Heather brings up, many, many times over many, many years.
In the end, it was clear to me that, of course this is what I want ... it is a wonderful fantasy, but I have also given a lot of thought to the down side, and realize reality is not as perfect as the fantasy is.
What really drives me though is not the pleasure between MY legs, it's the pleasure that's between my ears, knowing that Daddy is pleased between HIS legs.
Of course there are some things - family, work etc. - that by necessity will limit how far Daddy can take me, and how much I can do for him. In fact, that has been our biggest problem.
In the end, though, it's not about fantasy, it's about the undeniable NEED inside me to stop repressing these feelings - and take a chance and live life to the fullest. If, in the end, it doesn't work out, so be it - but at least I tried ! I need to be an object of desire, I need to let the submissive girl inside me out to play, and most of all I need a man to please ... Daddy.


July 28, 2008

A quick update ...

Well, Daddy hasn't dumped me yet ...... yay :)

I have resolved to keep trying. Even though my life is a bit of a mess right now, soon it won't be.
Working hard on trying to simplify it.

Daddy deserves more of my attention than I am able to provide right now. He has manly needs, needs that I want to dedicate myself to satisfying ... in every way possible.


July 20, 2008

Bad day ...

Today was supposed to be a fabulous day ..

Had it all planned, nice shower, shave smooth, put my buttlpug in, get dressed like the slut I am, do my makeup per Daddy's instructions and prepare for my visit with Daddy.

I was happy too, finally was able to take the entire dildo last night, all nine inches. Felt soooooo good, and with my eyes closed and a little wiggling I could imagine sitting on Daddy's lap ...

But once again, real life intrudes and all my wonderful plans for today were smashed.

I'm afraid Daddy will be upset - I had promised him some pictures for him to enjoy until I saw him.
He may even dump me and I can't blame him - I am not as ready and prepared as a real sissy submissive should be.

If you read this Daddy, I'm sorry - I will keep up my training and if you can forgive me, try again soon .......

So, a bad day.

July 17, 2008

Feminization ...

Daddy is into feminization and, I guess it goes without saying, that's like a dream come true for a crossdressing sissy slut like me ...

All my life I've had those fantasies.

I'm sure that those of you reading this, if you have ever had any feminine desires, you've seen pictures like this before.

I'm such a lucky girl to have found my Daddy now.




He has some pretty specific ideas on what he'd like to see, and I can hardly wait to be able to comply. Some of those ideas are:

  • no hair
  • back tattoo ("butt antlers")
  • a bit of boobie growth
  • bra and panty tanlines
  • pierced nipples

That's just a quick list, of course, I'm sure he'll come up with some more ideas ...

So far he has just a few rules that I am doing everything I can to live by:

  • always wear panties
  • wear buttplug as much as possible
  • keep toenails painted, bright red
  • wear stockings
  • play with my dildo
  • no masturbating
  • work on this blog

So ... yes, Daddy, I am your sissy dick doll, your pussy .... more so every day !


What Vicki likes ...

I read recently, on another blog, something that really hit home :

Oh, girlfriends, you are so fortunate to be a totally queer sissies. You never have to worry about getting pussy, because *you are* the pussy! You don't fuck, *you get fucked*!

Vicki wants to be that pussy, it's all she can think about - to be Daddy's cum extractor, to dress (or undress) to please him. To offer her body for his pleasure, and not expect anything in return, to beg to satisfy his manly needs.

I need to feel that girlie, to feel him fill me up with his cock, to taste his cum and beg for more. Knowing that every drop will make me feel even more girlie and eager to please ...

I love putting on my makeup now, Daddy has pretty specific tastes, knowing that I'm making myself pretty for him, to arouse him ...

Most of all, I want to be a perfect little slut for him - I find I have no desires greater than making Daddy happy - it's amazing!


What Daddy likes ...

He loves a girl that knows how to really suck cock. He loves fucking a hot, tight ass and the thought of a completely feminized sissy that is dressing as he wishes and then trying to extract the maximum amount of Daddy sperm....that is about as good as it gets.

Daddy does know what he wants - and what is the most amazing, and the most fabulous, is that he can somehow sense that is what I really need.

One of his first directions was for me to start some anal training. He had me go buy a buttplug, and wear it as much as possible. I have it in now - and does it ever feel good!

Also, I've started wearing panties fulltime now, soft sensuous sexy panties. They really help, along with the plug of course, keep me in the right space in my mind - that space where all I can really think about is Daddy, pleasing Daddy.

Of course, a good girl keeps herself presentable at all times. So ... no more of that ugly hair on my body, Daddy likes it soft and smooth. It feels so good too, shaved legs are wonderful!


Daddy ...

Needing to BE a girl ... and not just any girl.

I met Daddy online, he was looking for a trans girl to have some fun with.
Almost on a whim, I replied.

He probed my mind, and seemed to touch on those areas I had tried to suppress for so long.
It wasn't enough for me to just dress, I needed more, I needed to be an object of desire, I needed to let the submissive girl inside me out to play, and most of all I needed a man, a Daddy to please.

Fortunately, Daddy feels the same way ... in fact he doesn't just want a girl, he wants me to be his little dick doll, his sissy faggot cockmilking slut.

It's amazing what those words meant to me - suddenly those suppressed feelings inside have taken over my entire being - and, in fact, I can't deny he's right ... I should be his slut, Daddy's Dick Doll.


Where to begin ...

As a lifelong crossdresser, it has been a complicated journey ..

Like so many others like me, I've had to balance my need for stability and the needs of others with the never ending feeling that there is more to me than the man I have been presenting to the outside world.
Sure I get to dress up every once in a while, sit around the house looking pretty, maybe even go out to a club occasionally. Little moments, that let the girl in me express herself.
Those moments are special, but there has always been this nagging feeling that there must be more. Even though I can, at those times, feel and present myself as a girl, just looking like a girl just doesn't seem to be enough anymore.
I need to BE a girl.