A quick update ...

Well, Daddy hasn't dumped me yet ...... yay :)

I have resolved to keep trying. Even though my life is a bit of a mess right now, soon it won't be.
Working hard on trying to simplify it.

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Daddy deserves more of my attention than I am able to provide right now. He has manly needs, needs that I want to dedicate myself to satisfying ... in every way possible.
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Bad day ...

Today was supposed to be a fabulous day ..

Had it all planned, nice shower, shave smooth, put my buttlpug in, get dressed like the slut I am, do my makeup per Daddy's instructions and prepare for my visit with Daddy.

I was happy too, finally was able to take the entire dildo last night, all nine inches. Felt soooooo good, and with my eyes closed and a little wiggling I could imagine sitting on Daddy's lap ...

But once again, real life intrudes and all my wonderful plans for today were smashed.

I'm afraid Daddy will be upset - I had promised him some pictures for him to enjoy until I saw him.
He may even dump me and I can't blame him - I am not as ready and prepared as a real sissy submissive should be.

If you read this Daddy, I'm sorry - I will keep up my training and if you can forgive me, try again soon .......

So, a bad day.
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Feminization ...

Daddy is into feminization and, I guess it goes without saying, that's like a dream come true for a crossdressing sissy slut like me ...

All my life I've had those fantasies.

I'm sure that those of you reading this, if you have ever had any feminine desires, you've seen pictures like this before.

I'm such a lucky girl to have found my Daddy now.

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He has some pretty specific ideas on what he'd like to see, and I can hardly wait to be able to comply. Some of those ideas are:

• no hair
• back tattoo ("butt antlers")
• a bit of boobie growth
• bra and panty tanlines
• pierced nipples

That's just a quick list, of course, I'm sure he'll come up with some more ideas ...

So far he has just a few rules that I am doing everything I can to live by:

• always wear panties
• wear buttplug as much as possible
• keep toenails painted, bright red
• wear stockings
• play with my dildo
• no masturbating
• work on this blog

So ... yes, Daddy, I am your sissy dick doll, your pussy .... more so every day !

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What Vicki likes ...

I read recently, on another blog, something that really hit home :

Oh, girlfriends, you are so fortunate to be a totally queer sissies. You never have to worry about getting pussy, because *you are* the pussy! You don't fuck, *you get fucked*!

Vicki wants to be that pussy, it's all she can think about - to be Daddy's cum extractor, to dress (or undress) to please him. To offer her body for his pleasure, and not expect anything in return, to beg to satisfy his manly needs.

I need to feel that girlie, to feel him fill me up with his cock, to taste his cum and beg for more. Knowing that every drop will make me feel even more girlie and eager to please ...

I love putting on my makeup now, Daddy has pretty specific tastes, knowing that I'm making myself pretty for him, to arouse him ...

Most of all, I want to be a perfect little slut for him - I find I have no desires greater than making Daddy happy - it's amazing!

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What Daddy likes ...

He loves a girl that knows how to really suck cock. He loves fucking a hot, tight ass and the thought of a completely feminized sissy that is dressing as he wishes and then trying to extract the maximum amount of Daddy sperm....that is about as good as it gets.

Daddy does know what he wants - and what is the most amazing, and the most fabulous, is that he can somehow sense that is what I really need.

One of his first directions was for me to start some anal training. He had me go buy a buttplug, and wear it as much as possible. I have it in now - and does it ever feel good!

Also, I've started wearing panties fulltime now, soft sensuous sexy panties. They really help, along with the plug of course, keep me in the right space in my mind - that space where all I can really think about is Daddy, pleasing Daddy.

Of course, a good girl keeps herself presentable at all times. So ... no more of that ugly hair on my body, Daddy likes it soft and smooth. It feels so good too, shaved legs are wonderful!

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Daddy ...

Needing to BE a girl ... and not just any girl.

I met Daddy online, he was looking for a trans girl to have some fun with.
Almost on a whim, I replied.

He probed my mind, and seemed to touch on those areas I had tried to suppress for so long.
It wasn't enough for me to just dress, I needed more, I needed to be an object of desire, I needed to let the submissive girl inside me out to play, and most of all I needed a man, a Daddy to please.

Fortunately, Daddy feels the same way ... in fact he doesn't just want a girl, he wants me to be his little dick doll, his sissy faggot cockmilking slut.

It's amazing what those words meant to me - suddenly those suppressed feelings inside have taken over my entire being - and, in fact, I can't deny he's right ... I should be his slut, Daddy's Dick Doll.

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Where to begin ...

As a lifelong crossdresser, it has been a complicated journey ..

Like so many others like me, I've had to balance my need for stability and the needs of others with the never ending feeling that there is more to me than the man I have been presenting to the outside world.
Sure I get to dress up every once in a while, sit around the house looking pretty, maybe even go out to a club occasionally. Little moments, that let the girl in me express herself.
Those moments are special, but there has always been this nagging feeling that there must be more. Even though I can, at those times, feel and present myself as a girl, just looking like a girl just doesn't seem to be enough anymore.
I need to BE a girl.

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